Umbrella Iris

J**** liked to dance
Called it the only thing that made her epidermis worthy
So she went trouble hunting under bed sheets and skin sleeves
Pirouetted her way to shatter crack heart and left Never-land too early

She wore shame colored coats still wrapped in plastic over twisted rusty wire
Looked a lot like shoulders
plastic playground sparks, exploding scars
red line ripple and fever to impress
She told me she could be a dancer once
But she didn’t know if she could love herself
So I held her rigamortis steady and played walking stick to tired woodsman
We sleep like dominos now
begging budge and soon to fall
J**** whispers lullaby lie recited bible verse
our breathing melts muffled screams under reflected light
The moon is just graveyard heaven for every fire fly Aphrodite dreamer left to rot in half an extra long jar

I barely move my radiator arms anymore
Can’t gravitate toward mirror mirror show me everything I never want to father
under jersey sheets she knows I hate
Make me think trapped
Sin sipped chapped whisky lips kiss and burn like bodies
Smell like overdose hell on a rainy sunday when I cant call my father because he doesn’t know I do drugs
Her polar ice cap smile fading
Every moonbeam off her body turns icicle and falls sunflowers surrounding our bed as if to preserve what little of our souls are left
Guilt struck tombstone stuck next to me
Smiling strangers passing by
I know you remember what it felt like to serpentine my apple core spine before you began to take bites bigger than you could stomach
You told me you were jealous of my mother when Jacob was born
Didn’t understand how new organs couldn’t play child choir tune like rusty tubes
Filled your blouse with feathers and asked me if I could save you a spot
When I connected dots
Drew freckle constellations and named them after imaginary daughters
The first time you asked me what if felt like to burn red hot and fire inside I wanted to tell you about acid
I wanted to tell you when the universe explodes into the ivory curtain surrounding the shadows of everything you’ve done I wish I did not see
my hands are never steady
I wanted to tell you that sometimes I got out of bed to take showers
You make me feel dirty
When we held waxed impressions of hands I pretended we were holding souls
Knuckles locked like we forgot the password to our combination hearts
Suit yourself stitch in unison our bodies meshed together
My grandfather told me once I could only be so lucky to find a wife like his
You didn’t live up to your potential

I wanted to tell you I wait to fall asleep
always kept my arm over your shoulders and my legs locked with yours
You called me contact addict
I didn’t want to let you go
Your pelvis is a well
A mere receptacle for the overflow from the locks and dams of ribcages and breastplates
Every second you spent perpendicular to grown up boys was a minute missed parallel with a lover
I wanted to tell you its not just your legs that are restless.
I’ve spent more time stacking fire wood from your forest of excuses
Planting seeds for every time you tripped running over your own story

When we made love I pretended we were amateur surgeons trying to find a way to put two halves together
I guess souls don’t shatter in equal parts

28/8

this is a pretty good game wouldn’t you say
he tells me this question
i mean asks me this question
but i just stare him
i have no idea what he’s talking about
baseball
apparently we’re watching baseball
“we’ll by all means i don’t really know” i mutter
my mouth is dry as ice
wait baseball we’ve been watching baseball all night
someone earlier said something about baseball
i guess the sox are down 6
i know this because I'm a fair weather fan
well actually i know it because I'm the level below fair weather fan but im not sure that is called and i weaseled an answer out of this guy
the one earlier with the sox down six

are you maggie?
someone says this
That must be her name.
good to know, I am terrible with names
Usually i have to wait for situations such as this where someone else says a name and i take a mental note

the three 14 year old girls to my right are conversing
giggling like chickens awaiting the sure slaughter to commence shortly
They’re not really 14
Well they could be, I mean everybody looks older these days

28/7

Laying in bed stomach growling just a little bit
Bobby’s listening to the tenants above him fuck.
Quickly time traveling back to his dorm years he thinks this is what 4 years got him
Another shitty apartment and a horny retired couple
“At least there’s no shower sandals” pops into his mind lit up like neon
“Why would they even live here” follows with
“That man needs to calm down” coming in last

28/6

Hovering over the sink
Toes white from straining to get a better look she’s bug eyed in the mirror
The middle finger of her bony and poorly circulated right hand presses hard into her lower eyelid
“Squishy” she whispers to herself
No ones home but when she’s flying high she enjoys the silence
Feels energy like vapor trails in Wilbur Park
Doesn’t wanna ripple the atmosphere

28/5

he never realized how truly thin she was
whether the axons, neurons and other discombobulated brain matter need to procure such a thought had been burned up like so many 20 five dollar bills
he only smokes the good stuff.
trying to muster up something soliloquetic for the morning he knows he’s losing touch
and she reminds him every day
his arms play cosmonaut with just enough gravity to stay grounded around her
she’s cold
but not in the sense of temperature more like crooked glances
she judges him

28/4

Standing beside two empty caskets and a swollen carcass he thinks to himself
3 foot isn’t deep
but its enough for the dogs
Tossing pickax over shoulder and driving it
into the dirt haphazardly he spits out
“If this fucking dirt were any harder I’d think you were trying to tempt me!”
He speaks to the almighty this way.
Doesn’t seem to mind that spades follow him closer than his shadow.

28/3

I dont know if they came that way, or where they came from for that matter, or if that was how they wanted to go
Who they belonged to or if someone smiled wider at night knowing they were no where near where they’d begun
But in 5 days I could tell you I had never seen any form of material covering this mans testicles except for his lover
Stacked muddy monday morning minus 40
this is michigan