Sunflowers and Scarves

Her tears fell like snowflakes in late may
All honesty had become heavy and was escaping through tear ducts
Beauty was lost before it hit my hands and everything magical about her ran through the cracks in my fingers
Willingly I let it splash the grass and hoped the ground was thirsty so it would disappear quickly
I couldn’t bare to hold her anymore
Hanging heads looked to weakened knees
“Your lips can quiver all they want but the truth never shakes free, Peter lied 3 times too”
But there is no rooster in the morning to red flag your betrayal
I don’t want your lips to crucify me
I want to remember them more holy
And less full of holes like your story
You’re only honest in your actions
So say cut so we can end this round of pictionary
Thread-bound to sanity I drew cartoons of us on a scarf and pulled the tassels so i could watch what love unravelling looked like, I missed it the first time.
Only I was never acting, I’m that good
I never knew the scene had started

“Don’t tell me what I know, fear is no excuse and you don’t drink so you must have swallowed what you wanted.”
But I’m not swallowing my pride, you gave him all I had when you gave him your hand
Couldn’t even wear your grandmothers ring much less the stones I bought you
Must have been a reminder you couldn’t bare to stare at the two hours you drove in silence to his bedside
You traded a lifetime of devotion for one afternoon of uncertainty
I bled slowly every night for 34 weeks
Allowing the nightmares of rolling over to no one to leak and escape through my veins
To soak into the sheets you bought me
but i could never taint your memory
I still see you with a tiara and I’m playing roulette with 4 bullets to put the odds in my favor
Tying nooses in staircases and archways to lean fate to my side
I’m looking for excuses to get me in your arms again

I brought you sunflowers praying the irony would allow for one more morning
One more morning
No more mourning
But the sun will soon burn out too,
You no longer glow next to me

I was once a cosmonaut bent on a mission to repair a broken nova
But space travel is merely a reverie
Space cadet lost in space
I’ve nothing to revolve around

If only I had something to regret, to squeeze me like cotton, something fitted
Linens have walls too, corners allowing entrapment for your mood swings
I’ve been browbeaten by your stares of attempted repentance

I no longer listen to my favorite songs because you redefined harmony and progression